It's been a rough year, but it's also been an amazing one. Jake and I are closer than ever before and we've grown up a little bit through all these adult-sized trials we've been facing. My birthday is coming up this next week (the big 27) and this is the first year where I'm literally cringing every time I think of the number. Not that it's old.. I know it's not. But it's that age where I'm almost forcing myself to ponder all the things I've done in the last 27 years and if I've done them well, you know? Have I seized opportunities? Have I accomplished anything? I tend to have automatically negative responses in regards to these questions... but I really shouldn't be too hard on myself. I've had some pretty incredible experiences and have met amazing people along the way. I have so many different friends scattered around in so many different places. I have the ability to relate and communicate effectively with people... something I didn't do very well in high school, but something that I've forced myself to learn since. I have a husband that I adore. I moved halfway across the USA to TEXAS (seriously... Texas? I never would've imagined I'd move to Texas one day) on somewhat of a whim... without a job. And guess what? We were able to find jobs and an incredible doctor very quickly.
Sure, I don't have a baby yet... and I ache every. single. day. because of it. I never wanted to be having kids into my mid 30's (even though everyone's doing it these days), but will now be forced to because, if it's up to me, I'd rather my kids be a couple years apart from each other. I have had so many different plans throughout my 27 years... involving different destinations, different careers, different people.. But this is where I've landed at this moment in life. I don't know what my feelings are on it all. I know there's more in store... and I have no idea where we'll be a year from now... but I guess I'll do my best not to get frustrated over certain plans not panning out.
And through all the different courses I've taken through life thus far... I can't say that I regret one.. okay, well at least not more than a few. It's landed me in the situation that I am in right now. Which at times, may seem dark and sad... but even still, I have someone that will be by my side through it all. And that feels great and gives me the strength to carry on every day. We have a thirst for adventure, a good sense of humor, an incredible taste in music, movies, and food... :) Like I said, we do okay.
I have many different aspirations I hope to achieve one day. I feel like I've put some of my passions on the back burner while I dwell on the lame grown up stuff this last year. This next year will be different... and I'm going to try very hard to be more positive and find the inspiration to create and be the artistic person I used to be.
Maybe another birthday isn't so bad after all... another year to achieve something glorious, perhaps?
2 comments:
Great thoughts!
Don't let the baby thing get you down. If I've learned much it's don't let the age thing get you down.
I'm (almost) 29 going to school with a bunch of 18 year olds. If that's not lame, I don't know what is. Most of my friends have 3 or 4 kids and dote on the fact that they'll be done with having kids by thirty. I've always like the idea of thirty to start having kids. Basically, everyone's on their own time frame. :)
And hello! You guys have done some AWESOME things. I love that you love Austin and are still there!
About having babies in your thirties...my third baby was born when i was 31 and guess what?, I just realized that I was ready to be a mom...when my first baby was born i was 22...and i wasn't ready,When my second child was born,i wasn't ready aether,too busy graduating, to busy working...and now...school is over,i can stay home with my kids,and i can actually enjoy being a mom...so nothing wrong with becoming a parent alter 30...but sometimes it happens when you don't expect it!;-) Good luck sweetie and happy holidays!
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