the castos: starting fresh and pretty

welcome to the new blog!! isn't it so incredibly cute?! i'm dying over here... erika (the fairy blogmother... and so much more!) is amazing and did such a lovely job. i need to give her a big shout out because she is a "stranger friend" of mine who has been so supportive of my evil infertility over the last year since i reached out to her. there really are some incredible people out there... and to be honest, she's the one that inspired me to actually put my infertility troubles out in the open for the world to see and for that, i am so grateful. it's truly helped me to let go of some of the bottled up angst and emotion i was feeling those first couple years and just be... real. so anyway, that is that. and here i am.

so let's just get it out of the way, because if you read my last post, you're probably wondering... i am not pregnant. my fifth iui was a failure, yet again. so no need to say how completely bummed i was... you've heard it before. this time i was in las vegas visiting family when i found out. i'm not sure if it was better that way, but it did give me some good distraction. to be completely honest, the only thing that did give me comfort this time was when i was standing in the shower, taking ten minutes to myself to cry and carry on after i got the negative pregnancy test, when i suddenly had this thought as clear as day that we are meant to adopt. we are. that's how we're supposed to start our family. i stopped crying then and was able to function the rest of the day... believe it or not.

all in all, it was a great trip and i had a really fun time with family and friends. i was pretty excited to see jake, though, and to walk in the door to a very excited ruby and a perfectly content bug. it feels like home when they're here.

from the fourth of july... jake and i went to spiderman.